Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Taliban trap Pakistan with 72 virgin promise

Taliban promise of Virgin

Guys, I am dead serious about the above statement. Make no mistake in judging it. It’s just a matter of time and the form in which Taliban will appear in Islamabad. Going by the history of Pakistan- from the concept of creation to the surrender in hand of Taliban, it was just a matter of time. When and How?

Consider few facts: 1. Pakistan was created by people who thought of Islam in their mind and of no other religion in site and their co-existence together. 2. The Mass migration of people based on faith, leaving behind a history, tradition, culture, wealth, and feeling. 3. The rise of religious-fanatics in the army, so-called the Taliban of 80’s to fight Russian. And 4th the idea that they can govern their land with the crocked Stone-Age rules where they believe that man can only rule that land.

Now, with the deal, they had with the government of Pakistan, they have virtually won a major battle to rule the land with Islamic Law which only these illiterate Mullahs can understand and explain. Sometime people wonder how come the educated people surrender to them in the first place. Anyway, with Swat and surrounding area, under control, they are already moving to other part to implement their version of government and law.

But the biggest surprise of all is the Taliban are already in Islamabad. People are now discovering that the most of the army personal, who are in some form have very much similar ideas to Taliban, are already on the street of capital. They are just waiting for their commander to show up in few hours and declare their allegiance to them.

At the time of writing this, Islamabad was reported to over run by the Taliban and is waiting find their first target to nuke in a sign to show solidarity with the Seventy-two virgin waiting in heaven. You may remember that Taliban had promised that those who give life for their cause will be rewarded with Seventy-two unwed, untouched virgin.

The irony is that when those people who turned up at the gate of heaven as they were promised, they are turned to hell where they are punished with 72 deaths.

This is Spoof

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Friday, April 24, 2009

Scientists claim to have found training code of Taliban civilization

Taliban Clam to decipher the code of terror in ancient language

The center of gravity has been shifting from Middle East to Afghanistan-Pakistan. But they never realized that they have to shift so soon to the Indus Valley Civilization also known as Taliban Civilization. Scientist and security expert has been wondering for the recent increase in the terrorist activity around the world but couldn't find the answer till now. But that is going to change.

Recently some Taliban scholars who were given an opportunity to find out their source of inspiration for terror activity discovered that their method of terror activity where prescribed in ancient tablet of 4500 BC. Elaborate symbols were drawn and all the existing knowledge at that time was preserved so that the knowledge could be passed on the new generation.

The sudden increase in the terror activities around the globe and particularly in Pakistan testify that the code has been discovered and deciphered. The Taliban are so delighted with this discovery that they have increased their terror activity to show the world that this is real deal and just not a fake event.

The US government which funded this excavation trip are now crushing themselves for funding this project. In the late 1980's when the Russian were trying to bury the site so that they can never unearth these secret code, the Charlie Wilson, the hero of this project made it a personal goal to help the Taliban to uncover these secret code and thus defeat the Russian.

But US never released that the terror project, they were funding one day would come to their own door-step and would harm them. Anyway, the US government has awakened and they are taking care that the recent finding of codes are not passed on to the people in large.

The discovery of ancient objects belonging to the Taliban has split the scholarly community, with some claiming the symbols form a primitive language of terror and torture and others arguing they are simply pictograms of torture manual long been used in secret prison around the world.

The story above is a satire or parody.

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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Prisoners Threaten hunger and prison break strike over cricket on TV

No cricket for the prisoner

CALCUTTA, India: Prisoners in Calcutta's main prison Eden Garden went on a long food-water strike in an effort to force authorities to allow them to watch cricket on TV. Nearly 50,000 of the jail's 100,000 prisoners skipped lunch and dinner Sunday, demanding to see Indian Premier League matches live on the giant LCD screen.

The prisoners' demand was turned down because "the rules of the Eden Prison do not allow them to watch Cheer Leader during the game. The authority conceded that had it been on the national TV, they would have let them watch the game. But since its being broadcast on cable, and because they are serving punishment, they should be deprived of watch blonde and sexy cheer leader according to the state general of West Bengal state's correctional services.

The state general stated informed that they can hear radio and read newspapers, but cannot view private channels. However, when the spoof reporter contacted one of most dreaded prisoner, he informed that he can do what ever he want, even he can call his crime-partner from cell phone, watch Hollywood movies and if he feels like, he can even invite dancer to his cell. When question was put to the authorities, they declined.

The event cannot be hosted in India due to security concern over election. Though South Africa is having their own national election, the government in India declined to host the event. They sited that cricket are high-value target and as result, cannot provide full proof security during election time. So the organizer has to move the event to South Africa. Privately, the Indian Politician confesses that they did this to deprive those entire prisoner from watching game live.

The story above is a satire or parody.

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Saturday, April 18, 2009

Slumdog Oscar Star for Sale: Bid Your Price

Slumdog Millionaire child star Rubina Ali is for Sale: Father Wants to become millionaire.

Mumbai (India): In a bid to become millionaires, Rafiq Qureshi put Slumdog child actor Rubina for auction and the based price has been reserved at $400,000. According to one paper who was interested in buying her, they send a secret agent to negotiate a better price.

When the people asked for reasons to sell her star-studded daughter, he blamed the famous Hollywood for letting him rot in slums while adopting his daughter.

He has been trying to sell her ever since she has returned from LA. First he tried to sale her to Hollywood itself but they refused. Later on, her father tried to sell to a middle-eastern family who fall in love with her after seeing her in the film.

However, till the writing of this news, her father has not been able to find someone who can afford to buy her daughter.

This is spoof

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Friday, April 17, 2009

Taliban New Fatwa: Susan Boyle cannot Sing

Swat (Pakistan): Fearing a rise in the interest of women venturing out to sing after Susan Boyle inspirational achievement, the Taliban for the first time have been threatened. They have issued a fatwa banning her to sing ever in life.

Recently they been blowing girl's school in the restive Swat area of Pakistan. Facing growing anger from the women for banning girl's education, women public out-going, marrying non-taliban groom, this time they are up against women who have been inspired by Susan Boyle.

(Remember these Taliban are not even scared of US or Pakistan army)

Recently Susan Boyle have inspired million of women and men of middle age to rise against themselves and fight for their dream. This fight for dream has threaten Taliban to such a great extent that they have issued Fatwa to ban Susan to sing. According to Fatwa code, which can only be understand by these illiterate people, Susan is prohibited to sing even in dreams.

The Taliban have been scared so much so that they are not even talking about her even in their secret meeting. They fear that their mind will be corrupted by Susan courage to defy against all odds and hardship.

When contacted by Press, Susan told the press that she has indeed receive the letter but since can't read what is written their, she is not bound to follow those instruction.

(Remember, the schools were destroyed by them, so how could Susan read)

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Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Pakistan and Hell signed a deal of equal opportunity in terrorism

Pakistan and its new treaty with Hell

Pakistan and Hell, the two most volatile region have for the first time signed an agreement for equal opportunity and terrorism. Frustrated at United Nation and Western and Eastern World, Pakistan decided to join hand with Hell to jointly spread terrorism.

Pakistan for long time have been looking at various countries for signing deal. They have been disappointed for sometime lately. Most of the countries are shying away from Pakistan in recent past because of it recent activities. Countries such as China, North Korea, Iran, Middle East countries, the Arab World are slowly turning their back on her. Given such situation, Pakistan had no option but to negotiate with Hell.

The recent increase in the terrorist activities in Pakistan such as Lahore Attack (Sri Lankan Cricket team, and Training Center), SWAT Valley daily killing, Flogging of the girls in public, killing leaders, blowing kids and women, bombing mosque, etc are result of this bilateral cooperation between them and hell. All the dead evil from last 20 century have been assisting Pakistani taliban in blowing things around them so that they can turned their country in another hell on the hell which can be located easily.

Some of the highlights of negotiated term of this treaties are to kill all innocent people who believe in peace and equal opportunity for men and women, destroy every school which impart education to girls, kill all those women who venture out of home with any men beside various other regular activities.

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Monday, April 06, 2009

Indian Politician to be honored with Doctorate Degree for personal abuse

Ancient India: In the capital of Ancient India, Patliputra, which is considered to be the seat of most famous modern city, a new doctorate thesis has been defended by current ex-Chief Minister of Bihar. Her Doctoral thesis topic was "How low and personal should people go in attacking opposition leader from rival kingdom."

Few years earlier during her enrollment to the Political University of India, Mrs. Rabri Devi, who was till then most illiterate and uneducated, highly resourceful person in the kingdom, had presented her thesis topic and vowed to defend her doctoral thesis by the time she was ready to graduate from the University.

In a setting environment of the Political theatre of the University, she has right fully explained her thesis topic "How low and personal should people go in attacking opposition leader from rival kingdom." In her defense, she not only targets her political rivals but also judiciary establishment. She told the panel of judge, how she can attack her political rival at the time of opposition (Only when the person is in opposition party) below the belt.

Considering the fact the she hardly used to say anything at the time of entrance to the University, the faculties' members were highly impressed with her achievement. In recognition of her achievement, the University has awarded her Doctorate Degree.

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17 year old Girl Flogs back the Taliban in Public

Girl have promised to make taliban wear the bikini and flogg them in public

In a dramatic development in SWAT Valley, the 17-year old girl who was last seen in the video has revealed that with help of few women, they have been able to return the favor the Taliban had meted to her in public few days back.

She not only confronted those Taliban with the help of these women, but with their help, were able to give justice to themselves in the way she was handed. These women captured the three Taliban seen in the video and dragged them to the Square area of the main city. They were forced to undress and were hanged from the tree upside down. Then these women called out all the women out from their respective homes and were asked to flog them.

Unable to bear this public humiliation, these Taliban have committed suicide. In the short note they wrote that there were ashamed to show their covered face in public after being humiliated by these women.

However, the leader of the Taliban group has denied this report. They have suggested that some foreign element is bend over to malign them in public.

Supporting there case, some of the TV channel came out in support of the Taliban. "some actually took the line that the video that showed the girl being flogged was "cooked up" somewhere outside Pakistan and released through a lackey NGO to sabotage the peace in Swat.

And to add to this "the people supporting women were roundly abused. One of them even asked "How could she have walked away after the flogging?" The suppressed desire was that the flogging should have been tougher."

However, the girl have promised that from now on they will be the one who will be flogging men in public who tries to misbehave with women.

"Holy shit she flogged me"

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